The art of speed dating

As mentioned before, I have decided that this year I will try almost anything (relating to dating) once. True to my word, I did some speed dating (http://www.smartdate.co.za/) with my friends Philly Girl and Helen. There were supposed to be another 3 or 4 girls, but I think most of them chickened out :)

So off we went to Primi at Melrose Arch and after driving around the 'centre' a few times, Helen and I eventually found a parkade and made our way to join Philly Girl for a quick scope out of the talent/competition arriving. It looked promising from all sides, so we made our way upstairs.

As there were more girls than guys, the guys made themselves comfortable and the girls rotated every five minutes. This also gave the girls time to sit together for a few minutes to discuss the guys they had met and compare notes and laughs.

All in all, the guys were decent. I started with a ginger gym freak…. A guy I was actually avoiding – ginger is SO not my thing. He went on for about 3 of the 5 minutes about how much he LOVES gym… he has to make an effort not to go 7 days a week and even had to squeeze in a work out before the event. He also told my friends that I had grilled him… huh?? Then there was the guy who was in mops… first person I've ever met who was in the mop business (making them not using them), the guy who had a kid, the journalist who had been dragged there and the guy with the wet fish handshake (though he was still quite a sweet guy). And Charles from Cameroon… in five minutes he told his entire life story, from being born in Cameroon, to moving to Canada with his diplomat dad and then Europe (I think) and then eventually having to flee to SA, or something along those lines.

And then there was Kimon…. Helen and I had met him before at a Dinner Club evening (details to follow at a later stage). He didn’t speak much that night and was quite boring. The second time we met him was no different. I would've had more fun talking to a wall, at least a wall has texture. He said the same things, almost word for word, about what work he was in and about running, his hobby. I was eventually talking (almost to myself) about the pros and cons of dogs and cats. Besides the usual "what do you do" question, he asked nothing. One of the girls eventually gave up and sat staring at him not saying a word. But he did quite fancy Helen. After the event we stood around chatting to some guys and he lurked on the outskirts staring at Helen. Creepy!!

I did meet two nice guys and have been chatting with them over email. I will probably see them again sometime and will have more of a chance to get to know them better.

All in all, it was a fun night. I had 5 guys who were interested in either romance of friendship and I matched with 2, for friendship. This is something that we'll definitely do again and might try one of their dinners or social/dance evenings.

As far as dating experiences go, I think that speed dating is something that singles should try. You can find out quite a lot about a person in five minutes and this is where first impressions are paramount. It's actually a lot like an interview, which it kind of is...

That's one experience down and couple more to find out about! And Friday night back to Giles to see what the hunt will bring this time!

Single in SA - The single, dating world in 2010

I recently celebrated a birthday (no numbers need to be mentioned!) and as usual took a long hard look at where I am in my lief at the moment. And well, here I am....

I'm in a job a no longer enjoy (reasons not to be discussed here), I am still single (and oh SO bored of it) and time seems to be getting away from me. On the plus side, it seems that the Destiny's Child song "Independent Woman" was written just for me... "the house I live in, I bought it; the car I'm driving, I bought it..."So here I sit, a single, independent woman and i must admit I want something different now. I AM SO OVER BEING SINGLE!

As a result, I am trying to get back into the dating game and will see where that takes me. I thought it would be quite an entertaining series of posts, telling you about the interesting (for lack of a better word) dating experiences i have had over the past few months and will no doubt have in the future!

If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know... I'll try almost anything once!

"Joostgate"

I've just watched the 'sex tape' that is "Joostgate". It starts with the woman getting the camera ready and then moving into the room where 'Joost' (I'm still not convinced it's him... this guy looks like he has a butt chin) is. The majority of the footage is of her ass, his hairy leg and black sock, set to terrible background music (think Afrikaans music and 80's rock... ugh!). Later in the video, she says that she is not a "hoer" (whore for those who don't speak Afrikaans). But I beg to differ and will prove that she is in fact a prostitute...


1. Her ringtone... shocking! Only a prostitute can get away with such a ringtone! "Suck it, lick it..."
2. She wears a g-string under lacy pink panties. Only prostitutes (and strippers) do this
3. She has a belly chain and has a tramp stamp (seperately, they're tolerable, but together... no)
4. She has at least 4 sex toys in her bag, all different kinds of vibrators, all different shapes and sizes. And that's only what you see!
5. She says she is not a whore... Who you trying to convince?

The 'act' takes place first on a skanky futon and then on the floor. Tacky! If you're going to make a sex tape, do it somewhere classy or at least on a bed or something! So they do some drugs, she talks far too much (thought they got paid to do other stuff?), and there is some sort of action, but nothing worth writing home about.

In the video, you see him in his tightey whitey's and i must say it is quite large... Impressive even! But you don't see the 'nuts and bolts' because a black square seems to follow his member...
Quite uncalled for as they warn viewers and say no under 18's. Doesn;t that mean you can show it all??

And then it seems to be over. My brother and i discussed the video and there is some footage missing. You don't see the actual sex or his butt tattoo. We must've missed it in the missing 3 minutes of the tape...

So all in all i am quite unsatisfied, a sex tape should be a SEX TAPE! They should get tips from Paris Hilton

Oh the horror!

As you know, it's winter. On top of this I'm single. This all equates to unshaven legs. What is the point if there is no one else's comfort or impressions to take into consideration?

Anyway, yesterday I go off to gym and meet my friend John there for a bit of a workout. I go into the change room all amped and ready. I open my gym bag, pull out my gym pants and look at them wondering where the rest of them went. Turns out I packed short (only used in summer) gym pants. Not so bad… until I remembered I haven’t shaved my legs in a few weeks. Aaarrggghhh!

And I'm not giving up my parking spot at the front of the gym to go home and get another pair! So I suck it up and put them on. Even I was shocked by the state of my legs! I also decided to leave my normal black socks on instead of changing into little gym socks… anything to limit the amount of leg sticking out! So yes, I looked like a huge tosser! I'm too old to carry off a 'grungy' look!

But the worst part is that a girl (I think she was a girl… Amazon woman rather) walks up to a locker behind me and I notice she has a moustache and smoother legs than me! Oh the shame!

In the end I decided to draw more attention to my boobs hoping no one would notice my legs. I think it worked!

Needless to say, when I got home I shaved! It was time….

And in other news, one of my best friends, Sue, got engaged last night! It's been coming and I'm so happy for her!

I will soon be making my own version of "27 Dresses"….

Drama, drama, drama!

Why do people need drama? What is the point of making things complicated and seemingly out of control?

I know we are all prone to a bit of drama, (I have been known to get quite dramatic when i tell people I am going to start riding a bicycle to work because of the high petrol prices) after all it makes life a bit more exciting and sometimes helps get your point across, but ALL the time? Doesn’t it get tiring?

We all know people like this who blow things way out of proportion. Is it just me or does it get very old very quickly? Is it worth the effort?

I once knew someone who thought everything was a huge drama. Almost every word that came out of her mouth was either negative or venting with a lot of huffing and puffing thrown in. The smallest thing, good or bad, would be blown out of proportion into a monster of a problem, centring around her. She would go on for days about this alleged injustice that had the potential to ruin her entire life or until the next bit of unfairness came along. Such a cruel world!! A classic example of making mountains out of mole hills. And no, it’s not about you! (Watch out for sarcastic comments)

I think it's just easier to just go with the flow and vent and perform if the need really arises, like when you drive into the back of someone by mistake or lose a toe in a freak skiing accident. Now that's drama worthy!

Sigh… I just don’t get it… it makes me tired just thinking about it.

What's Karma all about?

I am a firm believer in karma. It's everywhere… that much is obvious (to me at least). But my question is… what the hell is up with mine??

I was the lucky witness to a very fitting "what goes around comes around" in about April. Someone who (refer back to the totally crazy posts I have written in the past – when the happy pills were letting me down… that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!) hurt me last year, got it back threefold. Yes, that's right, threefold! The first time I heard I found it extremely satisfactory! The third time I heard of the same thing happening to this person (who seems to be a sucker for punishment) I was a bit bored.

But it all got me thinking that perhaps my karma was turning around and that I had a clean record again after the hurt I had caused over the years (though I wasn't fully aware of it at the time, or didn’t want to be). Alas, it seems this is not so! Maybe good karma has passed me by or has just given up on me?

Someone I know who I have recently discovered has been lying and been doing all sorts of bad things has met someone great and is super happy. So where is karma here? Don’t you have to do good and be a good person to get it back? Kind of like a reward scheme… I am very confused! I like to think I do good and have calmed down a whole lot and mended my bad ways. So? Where is it? Huh? Huh?

Maybe if I donated a kidney…?

Who invented spam?

Luckily, we have a spam filter at work. Every day at 12:00 we get our Quarantine Summary, with the emails that don't get through.

Sometimes it is stuff that should be getting through, like daily newsletters or email from people whose addresses seem suspect. But inevitably most of it is crap.

Some examples of email I have been sent include:
Gain your true length easily
Try and you will be pleasantly surprised
Bring joy and happiness to your bed - new bed linen?
Get a monstrous-sized pecker now - Monstrous? Could be worth a look...
Give her a rockin time
Plunge your meat into her - Um... no thanks!
stronger ejaculations - So you can make her hit the ceiling... literally?
Don't be embarassed by the size of your manhood - if you respond to this, you should be embarrassed!
Pink, wet and tight - i don't think they're talking about clothes...

So there's a little bit of everything for, well, men.

But do people actually try these things? Do they work? How desperate do you need to be?

Things I just don't understand

I was sitting in traffic for 1 1/2 hours today - the main traffic lights were out - and started wondering about certain things.

First, if there is a queue of cars, rolling down a hill (as I do every day), do you think we're there because we don't know better? You'll always find someone who isn't used to this traffic who will do a U-turn and try a different route usually through the suburbs. But, the reason we stay on the main road is that there is no such thing as a short cut in peak traffic. It just means that you have to tolerate the same traffic, in a different setting but with more stop streets. Eventually you're going to end up on the same road and probably further back than if you were just patient.

Secondly, why do people get upset when in the left hand lane a taxi stops in front of them? This is what they do! It is to be expected! If you're driving behind a taxi, it will stop. So why get upset, hoot and make a performance, if you know it's coming?

Thirdly, why are people allowed to get away with blatant child abuse by making their children wear Crocs?? It's bad enough that adults actually choose to wear them (and decorate them with 'jewellery') but why must they make their children wear them?? I know that children don't always know better and don't have much say up to a certain age, but why abuse them like this? What happened to the days of just dressing your children the same? Believe me, when they're old enough they will hate you for the Crocs incident!

There are far more things I don't understand but these are the ones that really stood out this morning.

Load shedding

I am at work, waiting for the effects of the latest load shed to wear off. We have load shedding twice a week between 10am and 2pm. Not the most convenient time for the biggest business centre in the country, but who said there was any reasoning behind the timing by Eskom?

So due to this phenomenon, we have a huge generator in the basement. A generator that overheated and burnt out! I was in the middle of a video conference that still had another hour and a half to go, so luckily that ended!
It did give us a taste of what other businesses in the area go through, when we don't even notice the switch over from Eskom to generator.

But now the other side of this is that they load shed in my area from 6pm to 10pm. Yes... prime TV time and a time where you need electricity to do most things!

I experienced this load shedding at home for the first time last Thursday. I was bored out of my mind after 5 minutes, after which I proceeded to try and irritate the hell out of my cat. Another 5 minutes down... 3 hours 50 minutes to go.... luckily, I had book club to go to!

It happened again on Tuesday evening. I then had an excuse to get pizza (wood-burning ovens are awesome!). The DVD shop next door was also open... how does that work?? But after eating and talking crap with my housemate and a quick shower, I still had 2 hours left... so i did some work on my laptop! So sad! Bored enough at home at night to do work. Sigh....

The next load shed is going to be on Saturday evening. Guess I'll be forced to go out, to ensure I keep my mental faculties in tact.

Suppose I should find something to do that doesn't require electricity to keep boredom at bay... but what??

Goodbye 20's, hello 30's!

I went to the Coke Fest on 21 March, a perfect way to see out my 20's and see my 30's in. As it happened, I turned 30 at the Coke Fest, during Korn (not my ideal band, but there you go).

We arrived in Alberton at about 1:00 and parked waaay down at the end of the racetrack. Luckily for us, the weather turned out well and we got a bit tanned as well.

While Gareth (Natalie's boyf) spent an hour and a half in the bar getting beers to quench our thirst, we (Natalie, Geraldine and me) sat on the grass and watched the people. Shew! There were some freaks! Being a rock festival, I guess it's par for the course. There were the usual Goths, plenty gingers, huge bodybuilder types and girls in next to nothing. I don’t know when last I saw so many tattoos either! Good lord! It's amazing what people will put on themselves!

There was also a marriage proposal on the big screen, which was very touching and got lots of aaahhhs and cheers from the crowd.

There were also those whose manners left a lot to be desired! People throwing up all willy nilly where they sat, guys peeing into cups and pouring it out onto the grass. Things like that, I do not need to see!

The concert itself was awesome! We had Golden Circle tickets. I had to fight the urge to run past the non-Golden Circle people giving them the finger and calling them cheap.

One of the highlights was seeing Jared Leto up close. We were at the back of the circle but he decided to run through the circle and climb the dividing fence behind us…. He is breathtaking! I also got the meet Khan from the Parlotones and Joel Madden form Good Charlotte.

The bands were fantastic! I loved Good Charlotte, who were the main reason I was there. Chris Cornell and Kaiser Chiefs were also great!

After about 6 (or more) beers and little bit of a joint (Hey! I was celebrating the end of an era!) I was happy, relaxed and loving life! I also kissed a boy because it was almost my birthday and well, I deserved it! Oooh and I managed to score a set of devil's horns!

A great time was had by all! Until we had to wait an hour and a half to get out of the racetrack and then got stopped in a road block on the way home. It's really amazing that it only takes R50 these days to ensure you don’t get arrested!

So after a fun filled day and night, with all sorts of excitement, I am now ready to settle into my 30's… I think.