I've realised over the years that people let you down. They're selfish, they're fickle and they're expendable. A bit harsh? Maybe... But really who has the time and energy to waste on people who don't add anything worthwhile to your life? If a boyfriend/ girlfriend treats you badly, fights with you all the time, doesn't pay you attention or makes you feel bad about yourself, you dump them. Or you should. So why can't the same be applied to friends??
At least twice a year I go through my Facebook 'friends' and delete people I don't actually like. But that's the easy side of it.
In the last year or so, I've spring cleaned 2 very good friends. Maybe the friendships had run their course but I don't see the point of having to work so hard to keep something alive when there isn't really much to gain from it. If there is no win-win situation, you're wasting time and energy that I could be using to find a better friend or even further my knowledge and education. I don't want to run after people and I don't want people to feel obliged to spend time with me.
Recently I have been thinking about some of the friendships I have and am wondering whether they are actually benefitting me or just causing me unnecessary unhappiness and upset? I feel I am just giving and getting nothing worthwhile in return. Surely it’s not healthy to be avoiding friends and actually making a point of not contacting them and feeling relief when you don’t have to see them? They are just not adding value or giving back. I really can't always be the giver, the supporter, the fun one, the advisor. I need some in return!
The other day I decided to do a little social experiment… I made a point of not messaging friends first, to see who would actually take the initiative and make an effort with me for a change. In hindsight, if I hadn’t updated my BBM status saying “Let the social experiment begin”, I would’ve had a better idea – I have curious friends. I may actually do it again, but not say anything this time. Unfortunately I think it would take most of my friends a few days to realise they hadn’t heard from me. And that really sucks!
So I am now stuck with the dilemma of whether to spring clean. Having given it some more thought, I think right now it’s probably best for me not to act impulsively (for a change) and see where it all ends up. Is this something that should be given a timeline or should it runs its course?
I have to admit that I would hate to lose these friends because we’ve had so many good times together! But as with any relationship, do the good times outweigh the bad? Is this just a phase?
So, if you’re a friend of mine and you’re reading this, think very hard about what you’ve done for me lately and whether you’ve supported me and shown interest in my life… if not, you better get your shit together because you may be the next one to get spring cleaned! Good luck!
