Friday 15 May 2015

A little time in India


I recently went to India with a few people, including my boyfriend, father and aunt. It’s somewhere I’ve always wanted to go but wasn’t too keen to go alone. In 2011, it was choice between India and Italy alone and I did Italy… and I’m glad!

India was always mysterious. You see Bollywood movies and IPL cricket games and form an idea in your head about it being loud and over the top. You watch movies like Slumdog Millionaire and hear stories of poverty and filth and crimes against women. But nothing prepares you for what it’s really like to experience India.

India is a crazy, hectic, interesting country. There is always something happening and something to see. We started in Mumbai, which is quite an introduction! It’s a noisy, crazy busy city with cars, motorbikes, people and dogs everywhere. It’s organised chaos. It’s a city where people are entrepreneurial and will make the effort to earn a living. A guy even offered to sell us his cute cat, Mickey (that was sleeping upside down on a cart) for 2000 Euros.

After Mumbai, we went to a few smaller towns to see the historical sites. One of them was Varanasi, the spiritual capital of India, on the Ganges River. For me this was a highlight because it is so spiritual. It has a certain feel to it. Not everyone in the group agreed. It’s a city where thousands of cows roam the streets, there are some bad smells and lots of people all there to worship and get blessed. Varanasi is one of seven holy Hindu cities and therefore a pilgrimage site. It’s where Buddha gave his first sermon. It’s also a pilgrimage site for Jains.
What really made India for me though was the people. They’re humble and inherently good people. I know there is always the dodgy, criminal element but we were lucky enough not to see it. Of the 1, 27 billion people who live there, over 80% are Hindu. We were told by a few people that it isn’t a religion, it’s a way of life. Hindu’s believe in reincarnation. Karma is related to this… the more good deeds you do in this lifetime, the more chance you’ll have of a higher birth (in the caste system) and with less suffering and hardship in your next life. Because of this, they want to do good for each other and it’s part of their daily lives. We were told that no one goes hungry, those who have give to those who don’t. The Sikh’s donate a tenth of their time every day to giving back and believe and practice that everyone is the same.  

There aren’t really any traffic lights or stop streets, they’re big fans of the traffic circle) but yet the traffic flows easily and there aren’t many accidents. The people aren’t aggressive at all and just go with the traffic flow, using their hooters as friendly warnings to make sure it happens smoothly. It would never work in SA – our high level of road rage incidents proves that!

Where the poverty is concerned, it isn’t your face at all. It is far more noticeable in South Africa, with beggars at every traffic light. In India, they’ll sit on the side of the pavement and quietly ask for help. It’s not expected or demanded, it’s almost dignified.  
I agree that it’s a dirty place. They have no problem littering although there is a government initiative to clean up the country. Rubbish is dumped anywhere and eaten by the animals that roam the streets – the dogs, cows, birds and monkeys. And having all those animals also creates another problem because well, they have to poop somewhere!
 
I also found the people very helpful and friendly. That’s not how my boyfriend felt… he’s way more cynical than me in some situations and thought that everyone wanted something. From my point of view, they’re happy to chat to a foreigner and find out more about people and where they come from.
 
For us, coming from a cricket playing country worked in our favour. As soon as we said South Africa, they started talking about the World Cup, how we didn’t make the finals (and us pointing out that they didn’t either), how good AB de Villiers and David Miller are and how the home team is doing in the IPL.
 
So what did I learn from spending time in India? We are incredibly lucky to live the way we do in SA and to have the average standard of living that we do. People need to be just a little bit calmer, less aggressive and a lot less worried about themselves and their little worlds. If everyone followed a similar way of life (not necessarily religion) to Hindu’s or Sikh’s and gave back in one way or another without expecting anything in return, life would be easier.
 
Perhaps the threat of coming back as a snail in your next life is the way to go for SA?




Thursday 8 January 2015

A fresh perspective

First off, I have been terrible with writing!! And as usual I will promise to write more, but now it probably won’t be about being single but more about the ups and downs of a new relationship and all of the serious and not so serious stuff that goes with it.

To explain… I am not longer single. I am seriously dating a great guy and have been for a while (by my standards). It all started with the new job. He works at the same company. He was a bit of a dick towards me and as a result I tried to avoid him. Turns out that’s his (old) work persona. But we had a couple decent conversations at the bar and started getting along. He was unhappily married and separating from his wife so had all sorts of things going on. I was just going on with my usual stuff.

The abridged version of the ‘how did you meet?” story is that one night after a company function a group of us went for drinks and he and I ended up talking until 2am and as these things go, had a bit of a smooch. It just grew from there. Because we worked together and not many people knowing he was getting divorced, we kept it under wraps and thought we were doing a great job of it… though we have since found out that was not the case. We approached it all like responsible grown ups and let the relevant people know what was happening to keep things above board, though it did take a handful of people quite a while to figure out why we were spending so much time together.

But anyway, it’s been good and all my people like him so that really helps! We have a lot in common and he seems to be enjoying my interests that I’ve introduced him to – which can be a bit strange, so that’s a bonus! I also discovered this festive season that he is so similar to my father it’s scary – it totally freaks my mother out. It’s not a bad thing though, after all my Daddles is one of my favourite people, so it makes sense.

As with any relationship, there have been ups and downs but mostly ups. We’ve been through some hectic things together (a serious post for another day) but that’s only made us stronger. We’ve laughed and cried. We’ve been on holiday together, alone and with my family, we’re going to India in a few months and so far we’ve both made it out alive and a little bit heavier. So all in all, I’d say a good foundation for a good relationship.

And my cat likes him!