So as I’m sure everyone knows by now, the world (as we know it) should’ve ended on Saturday 21 May and Jesus was supposed to come back for a visit. Hence the rapture… oooohhhhh….
Apparently, at 6:00pm (in which time zone I don’t know), a massive earthquake would devastate the planet, the dead would rise from their graves, and mankind would have to endure five months of fiery damnation before the world ended in October. To be honest, I had no idea what time it was supposed to happen but I was working towards 7:00pm.
Those people who were chosen – it is said there were 200 million of these so-called ‘true believers’ – would get fast tracked straight up to heaven where they would probably get popcorn and a slush puppie to enjoy the festivities down below on Earth.
According to the totally sane guy who is spreading the news, Harold Camping, the ACTUAL day the world will end is the 21 October 2011. The 21 May was just the date Jesus was supposed to arrive to collect souls and start the fire. This guy also predicted the Rapture would take place on 6 September 1994, but as we all know, that also didn’t happen. Though after re-calculating, he came up with 21 May and says that it’s totally for real this time. Ummmm… try again!!
But according to Jesus – who I follow on Twitter @Jesus_M_Christ – he couldn’t find any decent souls to Rapture… and he also got high.
So I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what 21 October brings and then what 21 December 2012 brings…. Until then… LET’S HAVE SOME FUN! WOOOHOOO!!!
Monday 23 May 2011
Is romance dead?
In the space of one day, I came across 3 very different stories revolving around marriage…
The first story was about a guy who filmed an elaborate marriage proposal and screened it at the cinema where his girlfriend was due to watch a film. Apparently, he made every girl in the room jealous too.
How very nice! Hope the romance lasts! That is really a lot to keep living up to!
The second story, according to the Daily Mail, some romantic guy had clearly put in a lot of effort to propose to his girlfriend. He had picked out the ring, rehearsed a song, practised his speech and had even took his beloved back to the place where they met so he could pop the question. But as he met her outside a fast food shop in a shopping mall, perhaps he should have guessed that getting down on bended knee in front of whooping shoppers might not strike quite the right note.
In a video posted by a bystander online the man startles his (possibly now ex) girlfriend by proposing to her in front of gleeful customers in the food court section of the fashion mall, in Los Angeles.
The dejected romantic declares to the girl - named as Caroline - just how much he loves her and why they must be together. He is joined by a guitarist, who accompanies him as he bursts into song, serenading the panicking girl with Neil Diamond's classic song “Sweet Caroline”.
'We met one year ago right in front of this Cinnabon,' he begins.
'I was dizzy in your presence, Caroline.
'I love everything about you... I love how you curl up next to me on the sofa and purr like a kitten.
'Make me the most happiest and dizzy man in the world.'
But despite his heartfelt sentiments and the ogling shoppers who shout at her to accept, “Caroline”, whose hands have been clamped over her mouth in shock since he started his proposal and murmuring “Oh my God, what are you doing?” at him, looks around the centre and decides to dash out, according to Daily Mail.
The young man is left heartbroken, surrounded by shocked shoppers who snap pictures of him and try to console the rejected Romeo with 'that was brutal' and 'it's alright, man, it's alright.'
Hopefully next time the young man will opt to propose in a slightly more secluded setting.
To be honest, I don’t think I’d be terribly impressed if a guy proposed to me in front of MacDonald’s or KFC…. Rather pick where you went on a first date. Or if you’re that into it, make a replica in a more secluded place, that isn’t a shopping mall!
Unlucky!! I guess she’s just not that into you… or she would’ve said yes.
Bride-to-be tries to kill herself
A 22-year-old woman in a wedding gown is grabbed by Guo Zhongfan, a local community officer, as she attempts to kill herself by jumping out of a seven-storey residential building in Changchun, China.
According to local media, the woman tried to commit suicide after her boyfriend of four years broke up with her, just as they were making plans to get married. The woman did not sustain any injuries during the incident.
Well, maybe injuries to her pride… one day she’ll look back at this and think “What the hell was I thinking?? He had no idea what he was losing and now he’s fat and lonely… and he had a small willy! I sure as hell dodged that bullet!”
The first story was about a guy who filmed an elaborate marriage proposal and screened it at the cinema where his girlfriend was due to watch a film. Apparently, he made every girl in the room jealous too.
How very nice! Hope the romance lasts! That is really a lot to keep living up to!
The second story, according to the Daily Mail, some romantic guy had clearly put in a lot of effort to propose to his girlfriend. He had picked out the ring, rehearsed a song, practised his speech and had even took his beloved back to the place where they met so he could pop the question. But as he met her outside a fast food shop in a shopping mall, perhaps he should have guessed that getting down on bended knee in front of whooping shoppers might not strike quite the right note.
In a video posted by a bystander online the man startles his (possibly now ex) girlfriend by proposing to her in front of gleeful customers in the food court section of the fashion mall, in Los Angeles.
The dejected romantic declares to the girl - named as Caroline - just how much he loves her and why they must be together. He is joined by a guitarist, who accompanies him as he bursts into song, serenading the panicking girl with Neil Diamond's classic song “Sweet Caroline”.
'We met one year ago right in front of this Cinnabon,' he begins.
'I was dizzy in your presence, Caroline.
'I love everything about you... I love how you curl up next to me on the sofa and purr like a kitten.
'Make me the most happiest and dizzy man in the world.'
But despite his heartfelt sentiments and the ogling shoppers who shout at her to accept, “Caroline”, whose hands have been clamped over her mouth in shock since he started his proposal and murmuring “Oh my God, what are you doing?” at him, looks around the centre and decides to dash out, according to Daily Mail.
The young man is left heartbroken, surrounded by shocked shoppers who snap pictures of him and try to console the rejected Romeo with 'that was brutal' and 'it's alright, man, it's alright.'
Hopefully next time the young man will opt to propose in a slightly more secluded setting.
To be honest, I don’t think I’d be terribly impressed if a guy proposed to me in front of MacDonald’s or KFC…. Rather pick where you went on a first date. Or if you’re that into it, make a replica in a more secluded place, that isn’t a shopping mall!
Unlucky!! I guess she’s just not that into you… or she would’ve said yes.
Bride-to-be tries to kill herself
A 22-year-old woman in a wedding gown is grabbed by Guo Zhongfan, a local community officer, as she attempts to kill herself by jumping out of a seven-storey residential building in Changchun, China.
According to local media, the woman tried to commit suicide after her boyfriend of four years broke up with her, just as they were making plans to get married. The woman did not sustain any injuries during the incident.
Well, maybe injuries to her pride… one day she’ll look back at this and think “What the hell was I thinking?? He had no idea what he was losing and now he’s fat and lonely… and he had a small willy! I sure as hell dodged that bullet!”
Saturday 14 May 2011
The new Ten Commandments
As single or dating girls, we should have some things that are just non-negotiable. Some are easier to stick to but we should always keep the others in mind.
When it comes to men and dating, we seem to put up with too much and let too many things slide. We explain them away, justify them, and make up excuses like… “just give him time, he’ll see how awesome I am and will stop hedging his bets and looking for someone better”; “he treats me so well when we’re alone”; “but we really click, really”; he’s so busy he doesn’t always have time to email/sms/BBM/What’sApp/ Skype/Facebook/Tweet me” (that’s total bullshit!! He will be spending time in traffic, drinking coffee or sitting on the toilet – he can always find time if he wants to).
ENOUGH!!! If he’s not being a decent guy, not being a real man, you need to speak to him about it so that he knows what you expect and think. If you’re scared it’ll scare him off, maybe that’s not such a bad thing! No one likes a scaredy cat!
Do you really still want to be wondering, interpreting, trying to decipher every little thing in three months’ time? My answer would be NO!!!! And how do I know? I;ve been there, done that, shed a tear over it. It sucks being let down and disappointed but we’ve all had to deal with it at some point.
Some men are very good at fooling you into thinking it’s all great and that there’s a future – they may even believe it themselves… But once the little things start to niggle, it’s time to go with your gut, ask the hard questions and decide whether you’re worth more. I would bet that you are!
So here are my top 10 Commandments. And unlike Moses’, mine can be updated and added to, so if you have anything to add, do so!
Thou shalt not…
1. … let a man make you feel crap about yourself.
If he doesn’t think you’re awesome and doesn’t say and do all the nice things you deserve, why are you bothering? You deserve to be treated the way you want to be treated.
2. …be someone’s second choice or the “until someone better comes along” girl.
You should be his first and only choice. He’s yours isn’t he?
3. …run after a man
I know it’s 2011 and women have a lot of power and are very independent but sometimes we need to stick with the old school way of doing things. Men need to be men. They need to step up and take control. They need to ask you out. They need to contact you. They need to win your affection and court you. If you do most of the initiating, you need to take a step back and rethink whether he would contact you if you stopped. Would he?
4. … have to analyse whether he’s into you.
You shouldn’t have to analyse whether he’s into you. You should know, it should be obvious and he should show it.
5. …compromise yourself.
Don’t change your personality, your body, your beliefs or your friends for a man. If he doesn’t like you for who and what you are, he should find someone else. Just look at how it all ended for Advocate Barbie!
6. …be at his beck and call.
If he needs you to pick him up at a braai, after drinks, after a game, he better have the common courtesy to invite you in for at least one drink. If he’s not, why not? Are you just a glorified driver who puts out? Staff with benefits? I think it’s time to reassess your job title and job description.
7. … date a man who treats ‘service people’ like crap.
If you can’t treat a waiter, cashier or security guard with respect, who’s to say he won’t treat you like that one day?
8. … date a married, engaged, involved guy.
Do I need to elaborate?
9. …take a man back.
There’s a reason you broke up, no matter who did the dumping. The reason will always be in the back of your mind and will probably resurface in a very ugly way.
10. …be anything other than a fabulous, awesome and amazing woman and don’t need a man to be that.
When it comes to men and dating, we seem to put up with too much and let too many things slide. We explain them away, justify them, and make up excuses like… “just give him time, he’ll see how awesome I am and will stop hedging his bets and looking for someone better”; “he treats me so well when we’re alone”; “but we really click, really”; he’s so busy he doesn’t always have time to email/sms/BBM/What’sApp/ Skype/Facebook/Tweet me” (that’s total bullshit!! He will be spending time in traffic, drinking coffee or sitting on the toilet – he can always find time if he wants to).
ENOUGH!!! If he’s not being a decent guy, not being a real man, you need to speak to him about it so that he knows what you expect and think. If you’re scared it’ll scare him off, maybe that’s not such a bad thing! No one likes a scaredy cat!
Do you really still want to be wondering, interpreting, trying to decipher every little thing in three months’ time? My answer would be NO!!!! And how do I know? I;ve been there, done that, shed a tear over it. It sucks being let down and disappointed but we’ve all had to deal with it at some point.
Some men are very good at fooling you into thinking it’s all great and that there’s a future – they may even believe it themselves… But once the little things start to niggle, it’s time to go with your gut, ask the hard questions and decide whether you’re worth more. I would bet that you are!
So here are my top 10 Commandments. And unlike Moses’, mine can be updated and added to, so if you have anything to add, do so!
Thou shalt not…
1. … let a man make you feel crap about yourself.
If he doesn’t think you’re awesome and doesn’t say and do all the nice things you deserve, why are you bothering? You deserve to be treated the way you want to be treated.
2. …be someone’s second choice or the “until someone better comes along” girl.
You should be his first and only choice. He’s yours isn’t he?
3. …run after a man
I know it’s 2011 and women have a lot of power and are very independent but sometimes we need to stick with the old school way of doing things. Men need to be men. They need to step up and take control. They need to ask you out. They need to contact you. They need to win your affection and court you. If you do most of the initiating, you need to take a step back and rethink whether he would contact you if you stopped. Would he?
4. … have to analyse whether he’s into you.
You shouldn’t have to analyse whether he’s into you. You should know, it should be obvious and he should show it.
5. …compromise yourself.
Don’t change your personality, your body, your beliefs or your friends for a man. If he doesn’t like you for who and what you are, he should find someone else. Just look at how it all ended for Advocate Barbie!
6. …be at his beck and call.
If he needs you to pick him up at a braai, after drinks, after a game, he better have the common courtesy to invite you in for at least one drink. If he’s not, why not? Are you just a glorified driver who puts out? Staff with benefits? I think it’s time to reassess your job title and job description.
7. … date a man who treats ‘service people’ like crap.
If you can’t treat a waiter, cashier or security guard with respect, who’s to say he won’t treat you like that one day?
8. … date a married, engaged, involved guy.
Do I need to elaborate?
9. …take a man back.
There’s a reason you broke up, no matter who did the dumping. The reason will always be in the back of your mind and will probably resurface in a very ugly way.
10. …be anything other than a fabulous, awesome and amazing woman and don’t need a man to be that.
Wednesday 11 May 2011
I think that’s enough…
I have come to the decision that I am very over the online dating thing! After a few very unsuccessful dates (though I did get some entertaining stories out of them!), I am throwing in the towel.
And as a final send off, I leave you with yet another pearler of a candidate…
Why should you get to know devilliers?
NO PERSONS UNDER AGE (sensitive!!)
First the bad news...Why not to get to know me: I take medication(anti - depressants, tranquilizers and sleeping pills) However I am not a suicidal case past or potential. I have PTSD(post traumatic stress disorder)Also I don't have wheels presently. The PTSD is because twice I've nearly died once drug related and the other a car smash. And you can throw in National Service which was a nightmare. I also have residual schizophrenia, a condition controlled with medicine. Basically some nerve endings in my brain were damaged by the dagga I took(2 puffs can you believe it?) when I nearly died which has caused a chemical imbalance but I'm fine with the tranquilizers which double up to right this imbalance in my case- I'm not psycho(haven't killed anyone or planning on it!!)'Normal ' people also do this!!!.My last medical condition that I have is gout. So if you're passionate about your red meat and alchohol then maybe I'm not for you, not to say that I don't indulge in these luxuries.
Now the good news....
Why you should get to know me:I have a private income and I think If I get a permanent job my income bracket will be comfortable to wealthy. A gentleman. Patient. Only child(=financially stable)All the usual cliches. I can work, have worked for years in the hospitality industry. Mom's an author with 2 published books and 8 in the pipelines-interesting times. Maybe I'll make a comeback to golf(Seniors Tour only)although I have a bad back and presently my heart isn't really in it. Somehow I think the last two sentences are dreams but you never know. Its's been said I'm a bit crazy but that is in a funny way.
Friends/penpals if you're not from W Cape(unless you want to relocate)I'd consider this when I inherit. Sorry to bore you with the medical stories but I believe they should be out in the open so no ramifications later. This is all the honest truth! If nothing develops then the very least is that I hope I have dispelled some myths about psychiatric disability. I'm not eccentric either.
He describes his ideal match thus:
I don't believe in idealism, we don't live in an ideal world. However if I had to answer the question.20 words.
Let me start with what I don't want, the bad news:Clubbers, pubbers ,classical music haters (I like Chopin- not raucus classical), unrefined, TATOOS, attention seeking, career woman, perfectionists, critics, bitches, gold- diggers, socialites, snobs, travellers, obesity(curvaceous is fine),control freaks, shopping addicts, make-up over users, time wasters, one-night stands/casual sex, step kids that are school going- must be either out the house or in nappies/very young, recreational drug users, more friends/friendship with potential to develop, two-timers, high maintenance, low sex drive, party animal, heavy drinkers, fakes, mind games, pretentiousness, chain smoker/long cigarettes, uncompassionate, non-oral sex likers, self-righteousness, bible bashers, insecure income, insincerity, gossipers, foul-mouthedness, small- talkers-(no time for chit-chat), indecisiveness, heartbreakers, narrow- mindedness, complicatedness, insensitive, unemphathetic, immaturity, drama -queens, feminists and sexism.
What will be good: I like spontaneity, rugby(watching in bars wherever-yes it's that season)An adopted kid or two if you're past that age and have no kids.I don't mind not wanting kids-they don't bring me happiness(I mean they're not key to a fulfilled life).Will accept me for me love or money. In my case its love first and the love of love not the love of money. You'll know if it is meant to be after about 3 dates....Thats my style, so if you like to be wined and dined then good.. Maybe you want a houseman or a lover or a husband or better still all in one. Thanks for reading my profile.
'Nuff said!!
And as a final send off, I leave you with yet another pearler of a candidate…
Why should you get to know devilliers?
NO PERSONS UNDER AGE (sensitive!!)
First the bad news...Why not to get to know me: I take medication(anti - depressants, tranquilizers and sleeping pills) However I am not a suicidal case past or potential. I have PTSD(post traumatic stress disorder)Also I don't have wheels presently. The PTSD is because twice I've nearly died once drug related and the other a car smash. And you can throw in National Service which was a nightmare. I also have residual schizophrenia, a condition controlled with medicine. Basically some nerve endings in my brain were damaged by the dagga I took(2 puffs can you believe it?) when I nearly died which has caused a chemical imbalance but I'm fine with the tranquilizers which double up to right this imbalance in my case- I'm not psycho(haven't killed anyone or planning on it!!)'Normal ' people also do this!!!.My last medical condition that I have is gout. So if you're passionate about your red meat and alchohol then maybe I'm not for you, not to say that I don't indulge in these luxuries.
Now the good news....
Why you should get to know me:I have a private income and I think If I get a permanent job my income bracket will be comfortable to wealthy. A gentleman. Patient. Only child(=financially stable)All the usual cliches. I can work, have worked for years in the hospitality industry. Mom's an author with 2 published books and 8 in the pipelines-interesting times. Maybe I'll make a comeback to golf(Seniors Tour only)although I have a bad back and presently my heart isn't really in it. Somehow I think the last two sentences are dreams but you never know. Its's been said I'm a bit crazy but that is in a funny way.
Friends/penpals if you're not from W Cape(unless you want to relocate)I'd consider this when I inherit. Sorry to bore you with the medical stories but I believe they should be out in the open so no ramifications later. This is all the honest truth! If nothing develops then the very least is that I hope I have dispelled some myths about psychiatric disability. I'm not eccentric either.
He describes his ideal match thus:
I don't believe in idealism, we don't live in an ideal world. However if I had to answer the question.20 words.
Let me start with what I don't want, the bad news:Clubbers, pubbers ,classical music haters (I like Chopin- not raucus classical), unrefined, TATOOS, attention seeking, career woman, perfectionists, critics, bitches, gold- diggers, socialites, snobs, travellers, obesity(curvaceous is fine),control freaks, shopping addicts, make-up over users, time wasters, one-night stands/casual sex, step kids that are school going- must be either out the house or in nappies/very young, recreational drug users, more friends/friendship with potential to develop, two-timers, high maintenance, low sex drive, party animal, heavy drinkers, fakes, mind games, pretentiousness, chain smoker/long cigarettes, uncompassionate, non-oral sex likers, self-righteousness, bible bashers, insecure income, insincerity, gossipers, foul-mouthedness, small- talkers-(no time for chit-chat), indecisiveness, heartbreakers, narrow- mindedness, complicatedness, insensitive, unemphathetic, immaturity, drama -queens, feminists and sexism.
What will be good: I like spontaneity, rugby(watching in bars wherever-yes it's that season)An adopted kid or two if you're past that age and have no kids.I don't mind not wanting kids-they don't bring me happiness(I mean they're not key to a fulfilled life).Will accept me for me love or money. In my case its love first and the love of love not the love of money. You'll know if it is meant to be after about 3 dates....Thats my style, so if you like to be wined and dined then good.. Maybe you want a houseman or a lover or a husband or better still all in one. Thanks for reading my profile.
'Nuff said!!
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