Recently I met someone and there was an instant connection.
It seemed to be on the path to awesomeness and maybe even something real. But then,
much to my dismay, I discovered that my timing couldn’t have been more off. During
what would’ve been a fantastic honeymoon phase, I found out he had a girlfriend
- long-distance girlfriend but one who had been around for over a year.
During one of our many conversations, we agreed that the circumstances
sucked and if things had been different, things would’ve been very different...
sigh. The more frustrating this is that this isn’t the first time it’s
happened. Not necessarily the girlfriend thing but the bad timing thing. Meeting
someone who is about to move to London for 2 years, meeting someone who lives
in Cape Town and you’re students so don’t have any money to commute, that kind
of bad timing.
Now I hear people saying that if it was meant to be, it
would work itself out. So either it’s never meant to be or that’s just a load
of crap! At the tender age of 34, I like to think it’s a load of crap… if not, I
have screwed over by the fate fairies far too many times!
Thinking about this, a friend of mine dated a guy for a
while and they were happy. Something happened, I think it was a long distance
or change of circumstance thing and they broke up. He married someone and got divorced
just as quickly. She moved in with someone and eventually broke up with him. They
kept in touch and had dinner once in a while. After she broke up with the last
guy, they got back together. They look so happy and seem to be blissfully in
love. We are expecting an engagement. So in this story, timing was definitely
an issue but when the time was right, they found each other again. The question
now is whether this is a fluke or whether this is the norm? For obvious reasons
I hope it’s the norm!
I suppose it is all highly circumstantial and depends on a
number of factors. But then, how do so many people manage to get it right? Is it
a personality/pheromone/star alignment thing? How does one fix bad timing?
One theory is that when you’re ready for the relationship, everything
will work out and the timing will be right. But then why do you meet someone
when you’re not ready? Is it because you wouldn’t have net them at all
otherwise and they’re being put on your radar for a later stage? Is it safe to
just believe that when the time is right it will happen?
I’m not always a patient person and do tend to try and make
things happen, be a ‘go-getter’, and I don’t really know how much I can just sit
back and let it happen… it hasn’t in the past 20 years I’ve been dating. Am I just
a late bloomer and needed all that ‘experience’ first? Maybe that’s what’ll
make me appreciate it?
OR… is this not on my cards? Maybe this is the way things
are just going to be. Maybe that’s the reason my timing is off because it’s
supposed to be?
I must say that even though this may be the case, I really
hope it’s not! Turns out I’m a romantic at heart and would love to have the
happily ever after with someone whose timing is the same as mine.
