"Joostgate"

I've just watched the 'sex tape' that is "Joostgate". It starts with the woman getting the camera ready and then moving into the room where 'Joost' (I'm still not convinced it's him... this guy looks like he has a butt chin) is. The majority of the footage is of her ass, his hairy leg and black sock, set to terrible background music (think Afrikaans music and 80's rock... ugh!). Later in the video, she says that she is not a "hoer" (whore for those who don't speak Afrikaans). But I beg to differ and will prove that she is in fact a prostitute...


1. Her ringtone... shocking! Only a prostitute can get away with such a ringtone! "Suck it, lick it..."
2. She wears a g-string under lacy pink panties. Only prostitutes (and strippers) do this
3. She has a belly chain and has a tramp stamp (seperately, they're tolerable, but together... no)
4. She has at least 4 sex toys in her bag, all different kinds of vibrators, all different shapes and sizes. And that's only what you see!
5. She says she is not a whore... Who you trying to convince?

The 'act' takes place first on a skanky futon and then on the floor. Tacky! If you're going to make a sex tape, do it somewhere classy or at least on a bed or something! So they do some drugs, she talks far too much (thought they got paid to do other stuff?), and there is some sort of action, but nothing worth writing home about.

In the video, you see him in his tightey whitey's and i must say it is quite large... Impressive even! But you don't see the 'nuts and bolts' because a black square seems to follow his member...
Quite uncalled for as they warn viewers and say no under 18's. Doesn;t that mean you can show it all??

And then it seems to be over. My brother and i discussed the video and there is some footage missing. You don't see the actual sex or his butt tattoo. We must've missed it in the missing 3 minutes of the tape...

So all in all i am quite unsatisfied, a sex tape should be a SEX TAPE! They should get tips from Paris Hilton