Standing still in the swirl

Do you ever feel like you’re standing still and the world is moving around you? Not as in the world revolves around you… the way I picture it is like in the movies. You know, the scene (usually at a very important life point) where the person is standing, usually in a busy street, and people are swirling around them. That’s how I feel sometimes…

The reason for this at the moment is that in the last couple months, all these people I know (all of them younger than me) are moving in with their partners, getting engaged, getting married, taking huge steps towards a future with someone they intend to spend the rest of their lives with. This has lead me to think about whether this means I have been left behind?

In my 20’s I had so much fun – going out all the time to clubs, dating all sorts of guys. I had my guy friends that I used to go out with (who are all married with kids now). It was a time of learning for me – finding out what I was and wasn’t looking for in this (elusive) long term ‘perfect’ match. I also developed some great street smarts and have some awesome stories to tell about what I got up to. On the downside, this may also be where my cynicism started to develop…

Is there some unspoken rule or timeline that I missed? Was I supposed to have at least one long relationship of a year or two under my belt by the time I turned 30? When I get asked the dreaded question “How long was your longest relationship?” and my answer is (now) “less than a year” (which is technically the truth). Judging by the look of shock and horror that I get in response leads me to believe that this is true.

Why is it that I should’ve met this target? Why waste a year or two with someone I don’t intend on spending much more time with, let alone the rest of my life? Doesn’t it count that I’ve met other more ambitious milestones, like buying my own house and having 2 (and a half) degrees? And while I was doing all of that, I was still having tons of fun and finding a serious boyfriend didn’t feature as much – though I did look, but never really found what I was looking for.

But now back to standing still in a swirl of movement. So, all these people are meeting people and making these big commitments. Is there a trick to it or is it luck? Do they have to work really hard at finding it and then keeping it? Is it just their time in the grander scheme of things according to the universe? Were they just listening and paying attention? Did this all happen while I had a lapse in concentration? All very possible… I am easily distracted… 

Oooh! Those are pretty shoes!

Sorry… Like I said , I get side-tracked easily.

When I’m feeling like that, maybe the trick is to go with the flow and just jump into the swirl and get caught up in it and believe that I will randomly bump into the best person for me when I least expect it? It actually doesn’t sound that bad! I think I’ll be on the next wave off this island.