When people lose their sparkle

‘Losing sparkle’ is a term that I’ve heard a few times lately. A friend of mine was recently quite taken with a man she had met and was having a bit of a thing with. He made her laugh and was full of interesting facts and good conversation. After a particular conversation where he confessed to still having feelings for his ex, he ‘lost his sparkle’. And although she still saw him on a weekly basis for some fun and laughs, it wasn’t the same, but he was someone for the meantime.

When I talk about ‘sparkle’, it’s not Twilight vampire sparkle, but more that something special that makes you want to see the person all the time and to enjoy their company. It’s that intanglible thing keeps you coming back and making the effort. Kind of like an inner sparkle… and you know how us girls love bling and all things sparkly!

I had a bit of a thing with a guy and it was all good and fun… we laughed, we did stuff and all in all had a good time. We then had a fight, said some not so nice things, deleted each other’s phone numbers and he then proceeded to give me complete silent treatment – and it sucked because I pretty much saw him every day – and I HATE the silent treatment… it drives me crazy (in a bad way)!

Just when I had decided that I actually didn’t care whether we spoke or became friends again, he pitches up at my house, out of the blue, to say hi. A great gesture! And something I’d been hoping for (but doesn’t happen in the real world). After much WTFing and confusion from my side, we said what we had to say, both apologised and then decided to go out and have some fun, which we did.

The next morning I woke up (slightly hungover) and thought that I’d actually like to give this another shot but with some necessary changes to the entire dynamic. I made up my mind to tell him what needed to be said and take it from there. By the time the day was over, it had all worn off and I realised that he’d lost his sparkle. It was great to have him back, but something had changed – I would guess me – and I realised that it wasn’t what I wanted any more. More breaking of my patterns… because there are circumstances involved that need to be avoided.

When I saw him the next day, it was totally obvious, I had proof, no sparkle! And all I felt was relief. I was free to move on and to get on with my life without wondering ‘what if’ and without overanalysing it and thinking about what I could’ve done differently. We chatted and had a laugh about the weekend and that was that. Back to being friends and no annoying silent treatment! I won’t raise the subject though I’m not sure what he’s thinking, but I suppose that’s a bridge to cross if we actually get there.

So I think it’s time to find the next person with sparkle and hope that they keep their sparkle for ages to come…