Sexpo!!!

Last night, I went to the Sexpo with my brother. Yes, we do these things together and laugh our asses off!

We hopped in the car and drove off the Gallagher Estate in the pouring rain. After an hour or so of traffic, we arrived! We ran through the rain dodging puddles to join the other die-hards.

The first thing that caught our eye when we walked in (besides the good looking boy with a toight bum) was the “Stud Butler”. Let me explain…. It is a half dummy man that holds a dildo and moves backwards and forwards. He stands about 60 cm high and wears a tux (or gown should you wish) and has 3 interchangeable “attachments”. It also folds up into a nifty carry bag. He is remote controlled, has different thrusting speeds and a tilt option as well…. And it’s FREAKY looking!

There were also people in willy and boob suits walking around. The willy got tackled and couldn’t get up again…. It’s so sad when that happens…

THEN there was Pricasso. They guy who paints portraits with his willy…. Seriously!!! He was wearing boots and a hat. And using his willy as a paintbrush. Dipping it in paint and using it to paint portraits. In the serious discussion that followed, we decided that it was probably very desensitized, prone to infection due to paint getting up and probably a bit stretched too, though we couldn’t figure out what kind of paint he used…. (see below...)

There was also a Randy Rodeo. Instead of the usual bull that you ride, it was a giant cock. And by cock I mean willy.

There were a lot of sex shops, which are always fun to browse! And the DVD stands!? Hell, some very interesting covers and titles. Why do the girls always look a bit upset or uncomfortable on the cover? I thought they enjoying a cock in the face? The best title we saw was “The Da Vinci Load…. The Truth will cum out” hahahaha!! And some were SO shocking! We almost lost our lunch because of one cover, but I really can’t think about it!

And naturally, there were the sensible stands… AIDS, contraception, choices for women etc etc. The AIDS stand was interesting…. Free (and hopefully not the damaged) condoms, postcards, date rape prevention booklets (??) and a chart of sexual activities and their risk factor re AIDS….. apparently fisting and rimming are medium risk and any kind of sex is high risk. Kissing is no risk and so are toys (I guess they assume no one shares). And we learnt a new word/act! Dipping… we initially thought this was the same as tea-bagging, but it is actually another word for playing “just the tip”. See… it was also educational!

I also got whipped, played wiht a cat 'o 9 tails and tried out a cane on my brother... such fun, though i don't think I'd take it home.

So that was the first Sexpo in SA. And I would SO go to the next one!