Is it all about timing?

I have been pondering. This is not a good thing!

My question of the moment is this… Why is it all about the timing? In the past, I was the one who wasn’t ready or I didn’t know what I wanted. But now I know exactly what I want but can’t have it. The reasons for this aren’t 100% clear (and not from my side) but are the standard ones. The ones I have used. The ones I have decided to work around.

The friends I have spoken to about this have informed me that I am catch and any man would be stupid not to try. I tend to agree. I think I have a lot to offer. So why is no one taking up the offer? Why are all the personality challenged people not having a problem? How do they go from one to the other as if it is the easiest thing?

I think that it should be easier somehow. I have been playing the dating game for about 15 years now. And still I haven’t got much to show for it. Sure there have been a few relationships that stand out and probably could’ve been something more, perhaps if the timing were better? But alas, here I sit with not much of anything to show. I suppose it could be said that rather play the field than settle for someone who wasn’t right or who wouldn’t have worked out in the long run. But seriously!! How long do I have to wait? I’ve paid my dues, I’ve done the time, I’ve dated the assholes! Come on already!!! I need a bit of a silver lining! Just a smidgen!

Why is it that now that I have finally figured it out, there is nothing to celebrate with and no reward? Is this karma still biting me in the ass? How much more bad relationship karma do I need to work off?? It is just getting frustrating now!

So my thought now, is what do I need to do to get what I want? Is it worth it to fight so hard? Or am I just wasting my time and energy on someone who isn’t really worth it? Maybe there is a better guy out there, who has just that one extra thing to offer? How in the hell are we supposed to know?? Where are the signs?

I guess the plan of action for the time being is just to go with the flow and I suppose that if it’s meant to be, it will. Hopefully the effort is worth it! After all, I only have another 43 years to live!