10 signs you’re just not that into him

A few weeks back, I met a guy at the Baron. I was there with some friends to watch a rugby test match. Even though the Baron is a huge meat market, my intention that day was purely to watch the game with some friends before I had to go to a dinner at Drewski’s.

I was standing there minding my own business, enjoying a drink, eyeing out a soon to be empty table for us to lean on, when a huge bodybuilder type guy starts talking to me. So I was polite, talked to him a bit while watching the game. As the evening wears on, he attaches himself to me limpet style and tries to get to know me. Eventually, I give him my bbm pin so that he’ll stop asking for it. I turn down his offer of putting an eating a workout plan together for me – I already have people who do that – and try to steer away from the conversation about how often I eat protein and body fat percentages.

The game ends and I dash out to my next engagement. He bbm’s me through the night and next day. He then phones me so he can chat properly and get to know me. I really don’t like talking on the phone, but go with the flow.

We go for dinner on the Monday and I watch horrified as he eats in one meal what I eat for dinner in a week. I even let him hold my hand. Then when we say goodbye, I don’t let him kiss me (never on the first date!) and also keep turning down his suggestions of him coming over to my house.

I kept telling myself to stick it out because he’s not my usual type (emotionally unavailable pretty boys) and maybe I need to get out of my comfort zone and try dating a nice guy.

Before the week was through and only one date down, I was asked to join him for Father’s Day lunch with his entire family. He got upset when I said I was going to be home alone and didn’t invite him over. He kept asking if I missed him and got upset when I said “Ummm… No”.

So it all got me thinking, maybe there’s a reason we have types and sure it’s good to try something new, but I discovered that new is not always good. But it did reinforce how I know I’m not into a guy.

And here are the currently relevant top 10 signs I know I’m not into someone.  And there are so many more, but these were my obvious ones.

1.    You would rather be home alone, doing your ironing

2.    You see it’s him calling and mute the phone and let it go to voicemail

3.    You’re not particularly upset if he cancels plans

4.    You feel a bit nauseous when he refers to himself as your ‘new boyfriend’ (on the first date!)

5.    You say you can’t go out because you have made up plans (that are cancelled at the last minute) and are happy to stay at home ironing, talking to your cat

6.    You hyperventilate and scream NO! when he asks if you want to come over for a big family Sunday lunch (on Father’s Day!!)

7.    You roll your eyes a lot and eventually may even pull an eye muscle

8.    You really don’t want him to come to your gym because he’ll ruin your happy place and it would be quite embarrassing!

9.    You want to punch anyone who asks how he is

10.  When he deletes you from bbm or Facebook, you don’t really give a shit and are thankful you don’t have to see the constant arbitrary updates and self-given nicknames like “The Rock”

Now, if I had been into him, I would let the ironing pile up, would let him kiss me on the first date, would have him over to my house and would meet his family (an probably even attempt to speak Afrikaans).

But alas, this was not the case. After being deleted from his bbm and Facebook, he asked me to send my pin again… but really, I could not be bothered, because buddy, I’M JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!