Mr Right Now

I read an article the other day about whether women should settle for Mr Right Now or Mr Good Enough rather than waiting or looking for Mr Right. And as these things do, it got me thinking.

As an aside, it also ties in with the timing thing, because Murphy’s Law, you marry Mr Right Now or Mr Good Enough and find Mr Right soon after.

But back to the topic at hand…

I believe that everyone comes into your life and some leave it because they have a particular purpose or lesson to teach you at the time. When you’ve been (figuratively) battered by someone and are feeling disillusioned, you meet someone who treats you like gold and is awesome for your ego and who helps you get back on track with your confidence and all that good stuff. But down the line, they don’t really fit into your life anymore.  

You drift away from people because you no longer gel. They may have not grown up or may have gotten old and boring when that’s not where you are. They might become a Scientologist or a vegan. But they were great when you were both on the same page and the relationship was reciprocal and beneficial to all concerned. I think it gives you the perspective that you might need at the time.

So what’s to say that you should hold onto Mr Right Now for eternity? Maybe they are not meant to be married and are merely there to occupy your attention until the real thing comes along. But, (and there’s always a but) what if you’re his Miss Right? What if your Mr Right doesn’t come along because he’s married his Miss Right Now, are you then stuck and do you have to convince yourself that Mr Right Now can in fact be Mr Good Enough, even Mr Right? Of course that’s just really over thinking it and being a bit cynical, but these questions are often sitting in the back of my mind, ready to raise doubt and sabotage things.

I have to assume that the fates will intervene so that you don’t find yourself in this situation (well at least not too often). I’m sure we’ve all had moments when we look at our exes and think “What the hell was I thinking?!?!” I think that’s a fateful intervention. That ex may have been good for you at the time - someone older who could guide you in a certain stage, someone who was fun, someone who was your rebound. But in the end, someone who wasn’t going to grow in the same direction as you, had different life goals and views and you ultimately would’ve drifted apart and ended up disliking each other. 

Settling for Mr Right Now or Mr Good enough is just that, settling. This has been a regular topic of discussion with my single friends… should we settle? Should we lower our standards just for the sake of being in a relationship? I say “HELL NO!” That defeats the point doesn’t it?

So what is a girl to do? Which path do you choose? Do you put your faith in the fates and that things will work out well? Can Mr Right Now become Mr Right?

If you do decide to spend the rest of your life (and that’s a looong time these days) with someone, he better be the right someone! Why would you spend all this time with someone who isn’t a match, who irritates you or who doesn’t share enough in common with you? Personally, I’d much rather be alone!